I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize