i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize