Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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