Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
