Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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