they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
