So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
In America we eat man semen.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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