He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
