Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
