He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
