my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
