i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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