honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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