Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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