cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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