My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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