Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
