Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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