so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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