i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
