I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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