I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
