literally had 100 drinks last night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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