Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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