she was so not down for the gang bang
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
