Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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