Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
