I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
