roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
