i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize