A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Randomize
