I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
