you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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