I wannas sexs uuuuu
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
