Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
