It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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