Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
