I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
