North Korea, Best Korea!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
