if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
