quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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