It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
