1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
