Where is the hickey?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
