If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
