what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
