haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
