we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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