I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
