Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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