Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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