we made out on top of his cat.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
