Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
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