You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
