Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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