doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
