how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
