Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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