There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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