Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
